A Daughter’s Daily Conversations

A daughter speaks to the father she lost, and to the driver whose actions shattered her world:

How do I express how I miss my dad when deep down I have not mentally acknowledged that he isn't here anymore.  I still talk to him – this will never change.  I say: “Dad, today I went out and walked the dog.”  I am trying to walk the dog a little bit longer every day.  The sudden loss of my dad left me feeling unable to leave the house for a long time.  I say: “Dad, I know I need to get off the settee and get a job.”  I hear my dad's response, telling me to take my time, telling me I will be ok.

A driver’s actions killed my dad.  Did he stop to help my dad?  NO.  Did he look back to check my dad was ok?  NO.  Did he report the crash to the police?  NO.  Did he lie to the police for 12 months?  YES.

His joy of speeding and racing another driver in the miles before he killed my dad – how could this provide him with laughter?  How can he go on as though he doesn’t have a care in the world?  I have wished that driver could have my pain, even for just 24 hours.

Everyone should keep to the speed limit, don't use phones, don't drink or drug drive.  Actions behind the wheel have the power to KILL. 

My support has come from RoadPeace  - just being with others that understand how we all feel.  We are all at different stages in our grief, but we will all carry our grief forever.